Today’s procrastination comes in the form of this post! But what is good non-writing craft work/thinking time/well refilling, and what is procrastination? The difference feels blurry at the moment.
First a writing update: Well, this section feels redundant given the post subject, but for what it’s worth – I finished another short story last week, on new gods, eco-justice and a trade road Guardian searching for a missing friend. It has something good to it, but I lost my grip on it a bit so it needs a solid & solidifying edit. That makes roughly 26k words of 6 short stories, plus a fairly substantiative novel edit pass done in the 3.5 months of 2026. Not too shabby considering how much I’ve been struggling with motivation.
And a June events update: I am at Cymera Festival in Edinburgh from the 5-7th June, talking post-apocalyses with EJ Swift, author of When There Are Wolves Again. In Dundee Waterstones on 11th June with Raffael Torrubia, author of The Shipwright and the Shroudweaver. And in Edinburgh again at Waterstones Princes St on 25th June to chat Dark Academia with Naomi Gibson, author of Man, Muse, Monster.
The new wip (here, have a quick mood board!) is a speculative eco-horrorish thing that I threw 10k words down for before Christmas for an opportunity that has since dissipated for ugh publishing reasons unrelated to me. Those 10k were very much seat of my pants writing, but the world of the story is quite sociopolitically demanding and I don’t currently feel informed enough to do it justice. So I am Doing Research.
Doing research is good! I enjoy it! And for this book in particular, questions of what a post-capitalist society could look like feel increasingly vital, questions about non-human communication – well, that’s what my PhD was in, so we know reading about that is no hardship. It is interesting research to be doing, and already I can feel the shape of my book growing more cohesive in my hind-brain.
Solid worldbuilding – whether we do that in advance, as we’re drafting, or retrospectively when editing – is what makes a story three dimensional. So it is worth dedicating time to. Fantastical settings like second worlds or spaceships require obvious ground-up worldbuilding, but so do real world stories like this one. What does my society look like, what are its rules and mores and capabilities, its superstitions and power structures? I am changing more of the world in more unexpected ways in this book than in any previous one I’ve written, so these questions require considerably more thought. And thus more research.
But, and this is the tricky bit, at what point do I need to put the textbooks down and start writing again? I am not about to become a world expert in the economics of anarchical societies, nor in the molecular ecology of plant-insect signalling so somewhere between outright ignorance and expertise, there’s a line that needs drawing.
We all know that, of course. And where that line is depends on each of our processes and craft strengths.
Previously, the temptation for me has been to dive into writing fairly early. The book idea has been shiny and delicious, the joy of discovery has been upon me, and I’ve leapt from moderately-informed ideas into drafting with the confidence that I can figure the rest out as I go. This time however, the temptation is just to keep reading, keep mulling, keep turning over concepts and ideas and opening the next book rather than open the laptop.
Procrastination has several different faces, doesn’t it? Spontaneous housework, extra long dog walks, social media, fiddling with moodboards (hmm) or playlists. It’s harder to diagnose a case of procrastination when the face it wears looks superficially like productive work though. Is this reading I’m doing really a delaying tactic, or actually vital prep? How much worldbuilding is too much when we’ve all seen that iceberg metaphor? At the end of a project, it could be just one more wee edit pass, just one more tweak of the furniture. And then, we insist, we’ll be ready, guv.
So how do we diagnose a case of procrastination-disguised-as-work?
A crucial question, I think, is whether you have a clear aim in mind with this work – is there a clear worldbuilding unknown you need to clarify, is there a plot hole as identified by a beta reader you need to go back and fix? What is the specific function of this thing you are doing & is it necessary before moving onto whatever the next stage is?
A month back, I could hand on heart say I needed to understand the functioning of anarchism and commons wealth better than my then-minimal comprehension. So yes, that was necessary work. Now? Not so much. Now, the reading I’m doing, whilst interesting and useful and all of those good things, is not directly addressing worldbuilding unknowns. It is, if you like, colouring in around the edges.
A follow up question then, is to ask what it is you’re scared of about the next step, and what you can do to mitigate that fear. Perhaps it’s that the next step is letting someone else read your precious/trash baby. Or writing a scene you’ve been dreading. In the former case, there’s very little you can do other than choose first readers you trust to be thoughtful &/or bribing yourself with chocolate cake. In the latter, the chocolate cake will still work, as will perhaps mapping out the scene a little so you have stepping stones to get you through it. The solution will depend very much on the context and your individual needs.
But to get back to me! I know why I am dragging my feet.
And so, if you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, do you. I am feeling rather chewed up and spat out by publishing at the moment, this project in particular was part of a very hopeful moment that fizzled to nothing because of things entirely outwith my influence. It is hard, therefore, to hold onto the buzz and energy required to leap back into drafting when I don’t have the confidence that things will work out okay.
It’s also hard, and I know I’m not alone here, to remember the love of writing when so much of what I’m writing about taps into massive fears and grief at what is happening in the real world every day. To write about political violence and ecological mourning is never a light thing to do but it feels harder than ever just now.
BUT I wrote a whole damn article for Fantasy Café’s Women in SFF month about writing in the dark times, and I stand by that. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s also one of the best tools I have to hand, so it remains worth doing.
ALSO, I bloody love this book. I love the concept and the characters, I’m excited by the catharsis of writing about millionaires getting their comeuppance, and tangling up emerging communal societies with religious cults, murder mysteries and scientific research. I’m really hopeful that it’ll be both a fun read and have something powerful to say. Namely eat the rich. (But also slightly more useful explorations of societal rebuilding when we finally break the walls capitalism has built around us)
So I am torn between the lure of interesting research versus the excitement of the story; the exhausting weight of publishing expectations versus my will to keeping going despite that. Diagnosis – definite procrastination.
Generally at this point I give myself a stern talking to, print out some calendar pages to stick on my wall, and set myself (achievable) word targets & deadlines to kick myself into gear. In the last five years, I’ve had external deadlines that imposed a time-scarcity which made it easier to quit havering. I don’t have that external structure or pressure just now, so I’m having to relearn how to work without it. Whilst also knowing things might change at any moment.
So what’s my solution?
By the time this comes out, I will be on holiday (involving many trains & four countries), so I think I’m going to take that as a watershed. I will carry on reading and thinking while I’m away, and dive into drafting once I am back (and recovered). I am hoping that the serotonin boost and enforced break from publishing will mean I can come back a little more motivated and hopeful.
For what it’s worth, other solutions I’ve considered are: shelving this book and working on something entirely new (downside – a whole new research rabbit hole to fall in), or continuing to work on short fiction (downside – I want them to stay fun, not become something I’m hiding behind). If (when?) there is better news on the publishing front, things will be far easier for me if I have already got myself out of this rut and back into drafting. And I desperately want to give myself the grace to love this work again, separate from all the nonsense.
So – come May 13th ish, please feel free to kick my arse if I am not drafting! And whenever the procrastination bug gets its claws in you, I hope you know you are not alone… because I am right behind you ready to kick your arse too if you need me to!
Thank you as always for your support. Because accessibility in publishing is important to me, I keep all my craft and publishing posts free, so any shares or tips are greatly appreciated. Wishing you a fabulous weekend.
