When I drafted this blog, it was in celebration of the cover reveal of my second book, The Way The Light Bends, and aggravation at yet another sodding storm. But now as I revise it, there are much bigger things happening in the world than British weather or book covers. Hard, heart-breaking, scary, overwhelming things. I don’t know what to say about Ukraine, or the tory government, or the new IPCC report other than that I wish I could do more than I am. I wish the world was doing more. What I am going to talk about instead is something that’s been on my mind –
Should we celebrate things when doing so feels like a travesty?
I think I am not alone in struggling with this. People are dying because of evil men. We are worn thin by heartbreak and fear that are both so large they are almost incomprehensible. It feels wrong, narcissistic, or simply too much of an emotional effort to be joyous as well.
Going back to storms, did you know we find wind stressful because it makes it harder to detect predators approaching (all that noise & moving vegetation)? It’s a fear response stemming directly from our inner rabbits.
The pandemic, the increasingly inhumane government, Putin, climate breakdown, they are all like the wind – a background (if we’re lucky) presence that creates stress, raised vigilance (hello, doomscrolling), a sense of vulnerability and powerlessness. And even when there is very little we can actually do to control those things, the stress lingers. It embeds itself in our minds and muscles, and wears us down.
So should we celebrate things like book cover reveals, nice reviews, publications? How about birthdays, World Book Day, seeing your friend for the first time in two years? Those things all deserve celebration, but doing so feels so bloody wrong doesn’t it?
Dealing with these crises with strength and empathy, though, requires endurance. And that comes from resilience. If we who are on the sidelines are too drained, too paralysed by powerlessness, we will inure ourselves to the bad news because that’s the only way to cope. Sound familiar? So how do we build resilience in ourselves that allows us to fight for change, to do what is within our power, to care about people beyond our own small circles?
I think we build resilience through joy and hope, just as much as through grit and determination. I think we stave off apathy through reminders that there’s an alternative to despair. There’s endocrinological evidence to back that up, but I’m too low on spoons to be specific. Basically, good things give us bursts of ‘feel good’ hormones, which energise and stabilise us.
So here’s my thinking:
- First we do what we can to help create change – we donate, we vote & petition, we lift up voices.
- Second we find a reason to smile, because if nothing else, nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
- And third we create art because we need beauty, and we need stories that speak to a better world.
It doesn’t feel like much, does it? And in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t. Plus it definitely doesn’t remove the taint of heartlessness to the idea of celebrating something lovely. But we are not built for despair so maybe sharing joy means helping each other stay the course.
We revealed the cover of my next novel, The Way The Light Bends on Tuesday. I am so damn proud of where I am and so honoured at the support I’ve been shown by readers and publishing folk. I love this cover enormously and am so excited about All The Good Things I have happening.
I am also in quite a lot of pain, and deeply heartsore, worried and exhausted. I know I’m not alone. I also know I’d love to see your good news, I’d love to be happy for you.
Is that okay, if we do it on top of direct action? Or does it detract from the seriousness of everything else? Maybe, but do we need a little bit of … not distraction but brightness? I think so. It gives me the energy for hope, which is no small achievement.
I don’t really have an answer to the question I started with. It feels wrong to celebrate things right now. But it feels bleak to refuse to do so in the belief that somehow silence is preferable to a little shared beauty. What do you think?
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” It feels wrong to celebrate things [ … ] But it feels bleak to refuse to do so in the belief that somehow silence is preferable to a little shared beauty.” Yes, but not to celebrate, not to make the most of good things, to deny, even that there are good things,, provides another “victory” for those who would oppress. And further rations the fuel for personal resilience.
Yeah, that’s it, I think. If we let ourselves get too depleted, we are only helping the ‘other side’.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts in difficult times. I agree that we need to keep celebrating the good things in life, not just to give us inner strength and motivation for activism, hope, and to continue campaigning, but also for the sake of our loved ones and our communities so that they remain (or become) healthy and hopeful and supportive.
Throughout human history, terrible things have happened and no doubt will continue to happen; I know the current multiple situations are increasingly worrying, and it’s difficult to foresee a peaceful and sustainable future, but at the same time I am seeing increasing awareness and willingness to engage.
Often before great change, societies become increasingly polarised, so I am hoping the age old method of ‘divide and rule’ will crumble as people realise they are being manipulated and the ‘tipping point’ towards a better world will come soon.
I believe we must continue to celebrate life, make art & music, tell stories, plant trees, whilst doing what we can to tread lightly on the Earth. So today I will go into the polytunnel and plant seeds, listen to the surrounding birdsong and look forward to a cuddle when my wife returns from a weekend retreat. Wishing you well.